A Burning Feeling
Dann discusses how The Sims 2 kept him from ending his life after a devastating break up.
DISCLAIMER: Some readers may find the content of this story disturbing. I have chosen to include it because I feel that omitting submissions that might be controversial is doing a disservice to those who choose to share their stories. If you would permit me to be cheesily philosophical, life is not clear cut. If I were to only post those testimonies that are easily digestible, I fear that I would be insulting the intelligence of both contributors and audience members alike. If you choose to read, please do so with an open mind.
HGSML does not pass judgment on any testimony, and regardless of content, all entries have merit if they have genuinely affected the writer in a positive fashion.
A couple years back, I used to be in the military. I used to be in a relationship as well. Engaged, actually. But I was living in Virginia and she was living in California, back in my home town. We had been dating for almost two years. I’d been in the military for almost a year and a half at this point. There was talk about her moving out to Virginia, on base with me, getting a job out here and all the good stuff.
She was coming up to visit for a weekend and I got this brilliant idea that when I picked her up from the airport, I was going to purpose to her in the airport in front of everyone. I went out, bought a ring and everything. I picked her up and right there in the middle of baggage claim, I got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She said yes. We both cried, I carried her out like I was some dude from a Nicholas Sparks book. We went on to enjoy our weekend together, the happiest we’ve ever been in 2 years.
And then things went bad, after she left. Real bad. The day after she returned to California, she called me crying her eyes out. She eventually calmed down enough to tell me what has happened. She told me that for the past 3 months, she had been seeing another guy. She couldn’t do it any more. She told me the ring I bought her was already being Fedexed back to me. 3 days after she agreed to marry me, she told me she was leaving me to be with another guy she was already sleeping with. Something inside of me just like… Snapped…
I threw my cell phone at my wall and it exploded into pieces. I tore my bedroom apart. Flipped my mattress, knocked over dresses, smashed windows. I destroyed my room. I went out and found the biggest bottle of rum I could find. I must have drank about half the bottle before I passed out in my living room. I work up in the morning, completely hung over. I looked around my apartment and just looked at the mess. Everything was just trashed and most things were broken. I just broke down. I grabbed a bottle of codeine I had from when I went to the dentist. I took about 20 something pain killers and just sat down.
I was sitting in the middle of my living room waiting for these pain killers to finish the job. I looked up and saw my copy of The Sims 2 and figured I would destroy my character since I was about to destroy myself. While waiting for the pills to do their job, I booted up The Sims.
I loaded my file and opened the my house. My character was married to my now ex. So I did the typical thing – I locked my character in a room and was just going to wait for him to drop. While he was locked up all by myself, I was watching my ex roam around the house doing what ever she wanted. Enjoying everything I bought her. And I started thinking, “Why am I doing this? Why should I kill myself if I didn’t do anything wrong?” It seemed like it was almost a reward for her. I was gone, and she got to keep everything. I let my character out, and locked her up. Threw some stoves in there and let her do her thing. She finally started a fire, and with no where to run to, she caught on fire.
I watched her burn. Her Sim was just screaming and pain as she was covered in flames. Then there was nothing. And I felt better. I just watched my ex burn and die in front of my eyes, and I felt better. I actually smiled. I came to remember that I just downed an entire bottle of pain killers too. Realizing that killing myself, in real life, was not the answer, I called 911. They made me drink charcoal water, and did blood work. Everything came back good. I called before the pills could do damage to my kidneys. But the military was pretty pissed about me not showing up to work and not answering a cell phone that was destroyed.
You know that saying “The best way to get over a women is by turning her into a story,” or whatever? That’s true. But for me, turning her into a Sim and watching her burn worked even better. If it wasn’t for The Sim, I’m pretty sure the pain killers would have destroyed me and I wouldn’t be here now.
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